“Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein ...” (Proverbs 26:27)

I don’t know how many of you have heard about the cheerleaders in Lakeland, Fla., who lured a young woman to one of their homes and proceeded to beat on her with the intention of posting it up on either MySpace or YouTube. Probably most of you.

Unbelievable, isn’t it? Not only do they want to break the law and assault someone, they actually want to flaunt it on the Internet.

I could go in so many directions with this incident. But I am choosing, probably because I am a parent and because I didn’t grow up with the Internet, to go with the parents’ and the Web sites’, that host these types of videos, responsibility in all of this.

First of all, from newspaper and television accounts, it all seems to have stemmed from an exchange of postings on MySpace as well as text messages. Regardless of all the warnings to parents about having the computer out in the open and not in the child’s room, you still can’t prevent them from going somewhere else to go online and visit sites we don’t want them to. I mean, face it, no matter how tough you are as a parent, it is way too easy for them to access bad things outside the boundaries of their home.

As for cell phones, I decided to trust my kids and enjoy the convenience of being able to reach them at any time I needed. Face it, when they get to the teenage years, you better have instilled values and morals in them because that is the age when it is up to them to start making the right decisions. It’s the old balancing act of keeping them on a leash of sorts yet giving them some breathing room at the same time.

The biggest thing, especially in a case such as this one, is teaching them consequences. I heard one account where the girls were joking in their holding cell about missing cheerleading practice they day they were arrested. Guess what? They apparently showed no remorse and then, on TV, I saw one of the mothers of the attackers actually blame the victim rather than her daughter.

Let’s face it. There is enough blame to go around.

First of all, every parent involved in this really needs to look at their child and figure out the “why.” Then they have to get their child to understand that they share responsibility in everything that transpired at some level, whether they threw a punch or not. They still had a part to play in it and another choice they could have made.

“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.” (Proverbs 22:34-25)

But, the real issue that concerns me is they do not seem to feel any type of remorse or regret for their actions. So it makes me wonder if the parents will even bother to assess their child’s part in this, let alone their own.

Is it really more important for these kids to get the 15 minutes of cyber fame than deal with the fact that they could have permanently damaged another human being? I suppose I then have to blame all of those who enjoy watching these types of videos who gave the girls the motivation and the fame they don’t deserve.

There are no easy answers to any of this and no way for most of us to begin to understand the motivation of these teens and the teens who enjoy watching this type of behavior. I believe cyber harassment and bullying is at the root of this incident and that the law needs to catch up with technology. Easier said than done, but I know there is an effort underway. One way is for us as adults to set the example. When we go online and post accusations and insults on Web sites, whether or not we believe them to be true, we saying it is okay to do this to our children. If we do this, what right have we to charge them not to do it?

“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?” (Matthew 7:3)

Debra Robillard can be reached at drobillard@palltimes.com
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